Doodle-Writing!

Whenever I feel the need to write, but I can't think of anything amazing, I do an exercise I call "doodle-writing" and it really is just that! I create a story around one word and go from there. It is easy, fun, and I can sometimes get interesting little blurbs of writing. I love it and enjoy it, it is one of the perks of writer's block. I think it serves the same purpose as an artist doodle or sketch; it gets my mind in the right place to write. Please keep in mind that my blog is very informal, and so are my doodles. I don't write them professionally, and they aren't intended to be taken as such.

*Everything I write in a doodle is fiction, any similarities are purely coincidental.*

" I watch as the rain gets stuck in the tiny squares of the screen door, very little water actually splattering on the wood floor. I watch as the droplets get stuck in the mesh pattern knowing I should get up and close the sliding glass. My mind, however; is somewhere else. It wanders through the backyard and over the fences; three doors down. That is where it all happened. Or at least the only thing I seem to be able to think about anymore. That is where I left my self-motivation. Since that night I haven't done anything, gone anywhere. I am not worth anything anymore. They ruined me.

Perhaps I am being too dramatic, I never actually said no or stop I don't think, and it was my fault for having drunk anything in the first place...but do I really blame myself for what they did to me? No. I could never blame myself for their actions. I just blame myself for not stopping it. For not...telling someone. I never will though. I never can. I am ashamed of the lack of control I had over the situation. But three against one? That is not fair.

It was weak of me not to stand up for myself, I allowed myself to be vulnerable, to be hurt. I know that shutting people out wont help, but at least it wont hurt me anymore. I wont have to cry about it, I wont have to talk about it. I don't want to. I just want to disappear. "

Wow. that was depressing, and I am not sure how I feel about it at all. It kind of scares me. Then again...I don't know, I think there is beauty to it as well. I think it is definitely depressing though. I need to write more cheery stuff...but sometimes the cheery stuff is harder to write. I think there is a wider spectrum of writing that can be done in negative situations than happy ones. I mean think about it, all the novels focused around suspense, mystery, murder solving, war...maybe it is easier to address the negative psych than the positive one. Maybe it is just easier for people to connect with. I wish I could write more positive and make people experience strong happy emotions. Of course, sometimes the negative ones do make me feel better about my life. They are like a slap in the face that says, "Stop complaining, it could be worse!" I don't know, maybe it is just me.

For those of you who want to try it the word the story ignited with was "ruin". The word popped into my head and I started writing. I don't know why, but I honestly believe that rain is sad in stories and happy in reality. I personally love rainy days, and dancing in the rain, but when it comes to movies and books it adds a gloomy outlook. It is an amazing tool to use weather to convey an emotion or a thought. You may notice it more from now on how an author slips in little details that tell you about a setting lighting. If it is raining outside your mind may think of it as cloudy and grey, giving the whole story a gloomy feel from one sentence. I mean, imagine how much different the tone would be if I had started it with:
"The sun shone brightly, reflecting of the smudged glass of the dirty window, sending rays of light to every corner of the room."
Completely different setting just because of a few words.

 

Outlook-mental attitude or view; perspective on; point of view.

Sincerely,

SamanthaMarie