Selflessly Ignorant

Can you give too much of yourself to someone else? Is it possible to overdose on unselfishness? I don't think so...not for me anyways.

No, I am not a golden little perfect ninny. I am human, I don't always do the compassionate thing, but I want to. I want it to be second nature...no, I want it to be my initial instinct. It's more than that though. I want it to run my life. I want to be that person that lives for the wellbeing of others...and I know I can be. I know who I am on the inside, I know who I want to be, I just don't always see it in myself because I beat myself up for missing little acts of kindness I could have done, but didn't because in the moment that the opportunity arose I didn't recognize it as the compassionate and Christ-like thing to do. I beat myself up inside for not seeing in the moment the things that will make me who I want to be.

But is that in itself a selfish act? To be hard on myself for being ignorant to the needs of others? Is it selfish to want to be something that I am not naturally? Again the answer is no. I fully believe that I am that person. I just need to be more open to the world around me I suppose, I need to open my eyes to what is happening. I need to lift the veil that I am looking through and discard the blindness that I carry with me everyday. I know (thanks to the wise words of an incredibly dear friend whom I love very much) that I will never see entirely clear, there will always be a thin fog that masks the minute deeds that could mean the biggest difference to someone. I know that I will never see everything, or know everything. I understand that, and I have almost come to terms with it...almost.

My question, however; remains to haunt me...can you ever give too much of yourself to the welfare of others? I mean, we are commanded to Love one another, and told very bluntly to be in the service of our fellow man. For when we are in the service of our fellow man we are only in the service of our God. I don't know anyone who would say you can over-serve God...actually quite the opposite, you can never serve him enough. With these truths it stand to reason that we will never serve each other enough. In which case I can be comforted that as an imperfect human being, I am expected to miss things. But, I do know that by living the Gospel and consistently praying for the will and the strength to recognize the needs of others that I might come just a little bit closer than I would if I didn't possess the power to speak with my Father in Heaven.

I challenge all who read this to recognize one thing that someone might need. Just one thing, weekly, and to help them. It can be as easy as giving your leftovers to a homeless guy instead of letting them sit in your fridge for a week before tossing them, pet sitting for a neighbor, visiting someone at a care home and listening to their stories, buying one stuffed animal for a little girl in the hospital, picking up a piece of trash when you walk down the road or on campus, stop for the stray dog and help it find it's way home...hold a door open even if you have to wait five seconds for them to reach the door.

We were all told growing up to "treat others the way you want to be treated," "be the change you wish to see in the world," and on every classroom wall in a numbered list, "Be Safe. Be Responsible. Be Respectful."

So do it. I dare you. I ask you. Please, I know that all selfless acts will lead to greater blessings.

 

Magnanimous-proceeding from or revealing generosity or nobility of mind. Giving and kind.

 

Sincerely

SamanthaMarie

Called to...Hired to...

On Friday my prayers were answered and strangely I might add because while I was hired by the company I have been wanting...my schedule conflicts with the most important thing in my life: Church. My work schedule will be Friday thru Sunday and every other Thursday. 6a.m. to 6p.m. For those who don't know or simply aren't aware, Sunday is the Sabbath and one of the ten commandments is to keep the Sabbath holy. In other words: Sunday should be reserved for worship and Christ-like activities such as service. But for the foreseeable future I will be inspecting weighing etc. plastic bags at work...glamorous and exciting on Sunday.

Now, I am very thankful for the work and I need  the job...but I need the job mostly to save for a mission and how am I supposed to serve a mission if I can't attend church for the time being? I cant partake of the sacrament or be a devoted daughter of god and follow the commandments and earn enough money to serve at the same time. Not with the job I have been offered.

I have talked to higher officials in the branch (i.e. Great Scott!'s dad and President Stutzeneggar) and was given spiritual advice as to how I should proceed to keep the spirit in my life and live as well as I can without the blessing of the sacrament. I will be attending regular classes and activities on Mondays and Wednesdays as well as the monthly Preach my Gospel meetings (at least the ones held in Oroville), but I am very down because my Sunday worship is extremely important to me. Now, with that said I received a blessing today in the form of a calling. My first calling since being baptized (nothing glamorous of course!). I am going to be making the programs for the Sunday sacrament meetings...you know, the ones I won't be able to attend. I will be set apart in a couple weeks and let me just say, I am nervously stoked!

I am so excited to have my first calling especially since it is just one more amazing thing that I get to tell Great Scott! about. I am very anxious to see how the next few months pan out and  I am exceedingly anxious to renew my covenants with the sacrament (which I did today) and I know that my testimony of the sacrament will greatly grow with the absence of it over the next few months. I hope that those that have the authority can uphold me in their prayers and bestow upon me faith that I may remain in good spirit until I can renew my covenants again. I cannot wait until the day that I can serve our Heavenly Father as a  missionary.

Please, keep me in your prayers and let me know if you need to be in mine! I would love to pray for you!

Calling-vocation, profession, or trade. A call or summons to serve.

 

SamanthaMarie

Great Scott!

For those who haven't read the other posts I am a Mormon convert...and one of my close friends is in Africa serving a mission. This post is about him.

Recently my friend baptized me into the church, and went with me to the temple and baptized me there as well. He brought a lot of spirit into my life, and for a couple years he has been my "go-to" if I had a question about...anything really. He always put me in my place when I was wrong and wasn't afraid to argue with me for about 9 hours until I made up with my best friend because it was a stupid fight...and then continue to argue with me over WHY I decided to make up with her. In the long run I always felt like I left the conversation a better person than when it started.

BUT! now he is in Africa and the spirit in my life has plummeted. Now, I know there are tons of Mormons out there, and I know I can find the spirit elsewhere, it's simply that I am very comfortable asking him stupid, yet, important questions that I can't seem to bring myself to ask others. It is kind of frustrating.

HOWEVER! I have gotten two emails from him since he has left and each time I get one I can feel a little bit of his spirit from Thousands of miles away!! It is actually quite astonishing. These emails aren't long, and really don't have a lot of substance, but he answers my questions...and asks a ton. It is nice to know that even thousands of miles away he still supports me and my decision to be baptized. Here at home the spirit is waning because of the lack of support I feel from those around me, but so far every two weeks I get a new dose of spirit from Africa, and it lasts just about to the next one.

Now, I don't expect an email from him every two weeks for the next two years. That's not at all realistic. I am just one friend among many, many, many friends not to mention family. I simply know that when he does remember and get around to me he helps me here in tiny little Oroville...and he probably doesn't even realize it.

I am very proud of him for serving a mission; he is a great example of the type of missionary I wish to be. He is fully dedicated and loves every snail eating, humid, "bucket-shower" part of it.

"Choosing to serve a mission has been a great decision, the best! don't get me wrong, it's been really hard, but in the end it's all worth it. " -Great Scott!

For those who haven't figured it out "Great Scott!" is the nickname I have for this friend of mine. It is said with an exasperated obviously fake British accent for those who can't seem to pronounce it in their minds.


 To Great Scott! (two-plus years from now...) : I want to thank you (again) for all the wondrous opportunities and truths that you have brought into my life...again.

 

Mentor-a wise and trusted counselor or teacher; a spiritual advisor.

 

 

Sincerely,

Samantha Marie

Negative 60.."You GO short white girl..."

Okay, so I have been doing a lot of research about weight loss "DOs" and "DON'Ts" and quite honestly it is a bit overwhelming. And for anyone who reads this who feels the need to double check my frustration...well, good luck.

You see, I really want--and quite honestly need--to lose weight. Like 60lbs of weight. And I intend to do it in a healthy way so that I don't just have to start over when it comes back. I need to entirely reestablish habits, throw out the old and usher in the new. My obscenely ridiculous goal is 10lbs a month...and I feel like I will be disappointed every month, but I also know if I don't shoot high then I will aim low and my results will be a big fat blank space in time. So, here it goes. As of now, I weigh 199.7lbs. I am 5'2". Yeah, just a bit overweight. But it will change.

My goal is to reach 140 (Obviously, I am rounding up to 60 pounds, and if I accomplish my 59.7 pound goal I will most definitely be claiming a negative 60. Period.) My sister gets married in May, 2014. Therefore, by my goal I will lose 60lbs in 6 months. which would put me at 140 in March of 2014. Now, since I know I am aiming high, I then have until my sisters wedding to lose any excess (which I am hoping by that point wont be too much) weight by the time I walk the aisle as maid of honor.

Now, I know many people won't read this...BUT!! for those who do, I will be making a post that is strictly about this journey monthly with any progress and how I accomplished it, it is going to be one of the many things that motivates me to lose weight. I will be trying many HEALTHY method to lose, many exercises and dietary plans (not starving, not crash dieting, not Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers or any other commercial businesses. I am doing this on my own, with the good old reliable internet--which cannot lie ;)--as a source for ideas that I can improve upon). I will be testing things and seeing what works for me. And I will let you interweb users know how it goes. Who knows, maybe my progress will help someone else reach their goal.

Not this time, because I am thoroughly disgusted by my body, but at some points in the journey I will post pictures and perhaps at the end I will post a before and after...if I can muster up the guts.

It has taken a lot for me to be able to admit to my weight, and to put it on the internet, and I ask that anyone who does stumble upon this (especially if you know me personally) be kind because it has been my biggest insecurity since I initially gained weight when I broke my back. I am not a sensitive person...but I am about this, which is why I am taking a stand and changing my lifestyle and the way I feel in my own skin. If you don't have something nice then please, keep your typing away from my comments section...but if you have words of encouragement, advice, or personal stories of your own health journey, I would love to receive your comments. I need support, even if it is a random stranger who comments and says, "Mmmmhm, you go short, white, girl. You GO!"



Abate-to lessen in amount, degree, or intensity. To lessen or diminish.

 

Sincerely,

SamanthaMarie